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第141章(第1页)

Elizabethsspiritssoonrisingtoplayfulnessagain,shewantedMr。Darcytoaccountforhishavingeverfalleninlovewithher。“Howcouldyoubegin?”saidshe。“Icancomprehendyourgoingoncharmingly,whenyouhadoncemadeabeginning;butwhatcouldsetyouoffinthefirstplace?”

“Icannotfixonthehour,orthespot,orthelook,orthewords,whichlaidthefoundation。Itistoolongago。IwasinthemiddlebeforeIknewthatIhadbegun。”

“Mybeautyyouhadearlywithstood,andasformymanners—mybehaviourtoyouwasatleastalwaysborderingontheuncivil,andIneverspoketoyouwithoutratherwishingtogiveyoupainthannot。Nowbesincere;didyouadmiremeformyimpertinence?”

“Forthelivelinessofyourmind,Idid。”

“Youmayaswellcallitimpertinenceatonce。Itwasverylittleless。Thefactis,thatyouweresickofcivility,ofdeference,ofofficiousattention。Youweredisgustedwiththewomenwhowerealwaysspeaking,andlooking,andthinkingforyourapprobationalone。Iroused,andinterestedyou,becauseIwassounlikethem。Hadyounotbeenreallyamiable,youwouldhavehatedmeforit;butinspiteofthepainsyoutooktodisguiseyourself,yourfeelingswerealwaysnobleandjust;andinyourheart,youthoroughlydespisedthepersonswhosoassiduouslycourtedyou。There—Ihavesavedyouthetroubleofaccountingforit;andreally,allthingsconsidered,Ibegintothinkitperfectlyreasonable。Tobesure,youknewnoactualgoodofme—butnobodythinksofthatwhentheyfallinlove。”

“WastherenogoodinyouraffectionatebehaviourtoJanewhileshewasillatNetherfield?”

“DearestJane!whocouldhavedonelessforher?Butmakeavirtueofitbyallmeans。Mygoodqualitiesareunderyourprotection,andyouaretoexaggeratethemasmuchaspossible;and,inreturn,itbelongstometofindoccasionsforteasingandquarrellingwithyouasoftenasmaybe;andIshallbegindirectlybyaskingyouwhatmadeyousounwillingtocometothepointatlast?Whatmadeyousoshyofme,whenyoufirstcalled,andafterwardsdinedhere?Why,especially,whenyoucalled,didyoulookasifyoudidnotcareaboutme?”

“Becauseyouweregraveandsilent,andgavemenoencouragement。”

“ButIwasembarrassed。”

“AndsowasI。”

“Youmighthavetalkedtomemorewhenyoucametodinner。”

“Amanwhohadfeltless,might。”

“Howunluckythatyoushouldhaveareasonableanswertogive,andthatIshouldbesoreasonableastoadmitit!ButIwonderhowlongyouwouldhavegoneon,ifyouhadbeenlefttoyourself。Iwonderwhenyouwouldhavespoken,ifIhadnotaskedyou!MyresolutionofthankingyouforyourkindnesstoLydiahadcertainlygreateffect。Toomuch,Iamafraid;forwhatbecomesofthemoral,ifourcomfortspringsfromabreachofpromise?forIoughtnottohavementionedthesubject。Thiswillneverdo。”

“Youneednotdistressyourself。Themoralwillbeperfectlyfair。LadyCatherinesunjustifiableendeavourstoseparateuswerethemeansofremovingallmydoubts。Iamnotindebtedformypresenthappinesstoyoureagerdesireofexpressingyourgratitude。Iwasnotinahumourtowaitforanyopeningofyours。Myauntsintelligencehadgivenmehope,andIwasdeterminedatoncetoknoweverything。”

“LadyCatherinehasbeenofinfiniteuse,whichoughttomakeherhappy,forshelovestobeofuse。Buttellme,whatdidyoucomedowntoNetherfieldfor?WasitmerelytoridetoLongbournandbeembarrassed?orhadyouintendedanymoreseriousconsequence?”

“Myrealpurposewastoseeyou,andtojudge,ifIcould,whetherImighteverhopetomakeyouloveme。Myavowedone,orwhatIavowedtomyself,wastoseewhetheryoursisterwerestillpartialtoBingley,andifshewere,tomaketheconfessiontohimwhichIhavesincemade。”

“ShallyoueverhavecouragetoannouncetoLadyCatherinewhatistobefallher?”

“Iammorelikelytowantmoretimethancourage,Elizabeth。Butitoughttobedone,andifyouwillgivemeasheetofpaper,itshallbedonedirectly。”

“AndifIhadnotalettertowritemyself,Imightsitbyyouandadmiretheevennessofyourwriting,asanotheryoungladyoncedid。ButIhaveanaunt,too,whomustnotbelongerneglected。”

FromanunwillingnesstoconfesshowmuchherintimacywithMr。Darcyhadbeenover-rated,ElizabethhadneveryetansweredMrs。Gardinerslongletter;butnow,havingthattocommunicatewhichsheknewwouldbemostwelcome,shewasalmostashamedtofindthatheruncleandaunthadalreadylostthreedaysofhappiness,andimmediatelywroteasfollows:

“Iwouldhavethankedyoubefore,mydearaunt,asIoughttohavedone,foryourlong,kind,satisfactory,detailofparticulars;buttosaythetruth,Iwastoocrosstowrite。Yousupposedmorethanreallyexisted。Butnowsupposeasmuchasyouchoose;givealoosereintoyourfancy,indulgeyourimaginationineverypossibleflightwhichthesubjectwillafford,andunlessyoubelievemeactuallymarried,youcannotgreatlyerr。Youmustwriteagainverysoon,andpraisehimagreatdealmorethanyoudidinyourlast。Ithankyou,againandagain,fornotgoingtotheLakes。HowcouldIbesosillyastowishit!Yourideaoftheponiesisdelightful。WewillgoroundtheParkeveryday。Iamthehappiestcreatureintheworld。Perhapsotherpeoplehavesaidsobefore,butnoonewithsuchjustice。IamhappiereventhanJane;sheonlysmiles,Ilaugh。Mr。Darcysendsyoualltheloveintheworldthathecansparefromme。YouarealltocometoPemberleyatChristmas。Yours,etc。”

Mr。DarcyslettertoLadyCatherinewasinadifferentstyle;andstilldifferentfromeitherwaswhatMr。BennetsenttoMr。Collins,inreplytohislast。

“DearSir,

“Imusttroubleyouoncemoreforcongratulations。ElizabethwillsoonbethewifeofMr。Darcy。ConsoleLadyCatherineaswellasyoucan。But,ifIwereyou,Iwouldstandbythenephew。Hehasmoretogive。

“Yourssincerely,etc。”

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