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第76章(第1页)

“Myexcellentfatherdiedaboutfiveyearsago;andhisattachmenttoMr。Wickhamwastothelastsosteady,thatinhiswillheparticularlyrecommendedittome,topromotehisadvancementinthebestmannerthathisprofessionmightallow—andifhetookorders,desiredthatavaluablefamilylivingmightbehisassoonasitbecamevacant。Therewasalsoalegacyofonethousandpounds。Hisownfatherdidnotlongsurvivemine,andwithinhalfayearfromtheseevents,Mr。Wickhamwrotetoinformmethat,havingfinallyresolvedagainsttakingorders,hehopedIshouldnotthinkitunreasonableforhimtoexpectsomemoreimmediatepecuniaryadvantage,inlieuofthepreferment,bywhichhecouldnotbebenefited。Hehadsomeintention,headded,ofstudyingthelaw,andImustbeawarethattheinterestofonethousandpoundswouldbeaveryinsufficientsupporttherein。Iratherwished,thanbelievedhimtobesincere;but,atanyrate,wasperfectlyreadytoaccedetohisproposal。IknewthatMr。Wickhamoughtnottobeaclergyman;thebusinesswasthereforesoonsettled—heresignedallclaimtoassistanceinthechurch,wereitpossiblethathecouldeverbeinasituationtoreceiveit,andacceptedinreturnthreethousandpounds。Allconnectionbetweenusseemednowdissolved。IthoughttooillofhimtoinvitehimtoPemberley,oradmithissocietyintown。IntownIbelievehechieflylived,buthisstudyingthelawwasamerepretence,andbeingnowfreefromallrestraint,hislifewasalifeofidlenessanddissipation。ForaboutthreeyearsIheardlittleofhim;butonthedeceaseoftheincumbentofthelivingwhichhadbeendesignedforhim,heappliedtomeagainbyletterforthepresentation。Hiscircumstances,heassuredme,andIhadnodifficultyinbelievingit,wereexceedinglybad。Hehadfoundthelawamostunprofitablestudy,andwasnowabsolutelyresolvedonbeingordained,ifIwouldpresenthimtothelivinginquestion—ofwhichhetrustedtherecouldbelittledoubt,ashewaswellassuredthatIhadnootherpersontoprovidefor,andIcouldnothaveforgottenmyreveredfathersintentions。Youwillhardlyblamemeforrefusingtocomplywiththisentreaty,orforresistingeveryrepetitiontoit。Hisresentmentwasinproportiontothedistressofhiscircumstances—andhewasdoubtlessasviolentinhisabuseofmetoothersasinhisreproachestomyself。Afterthisperiodeveryappearanceofacquaintancewasdropped。HowhelivedIknownot。Butlastsummerhewasagainmostpainfullyobtrudedonmynotice。

“ImustnowmentionacircumstancewhichIwouldwishtoforgetmyself,andwhichnoobligationlessthanthepresentshouldinducemetounfoldtoanyhumanbeing。Havingsaidthusmuch,Ifeelnodoubtofyoursecrecy。Mysister,whoismorethantenyearsmyjunior,waslefttotheguardianshipofmymothersnephew,ColonelFitzwilliam,andmyself。Aboutayearago,shewastakenfromschool,andanestablishmentformedforherinLondon;andlastsummershewentwiththeladywhopresidedoverit,toRamsgate;andthitheralsowentMr。Wickham,undoubtedlybydesign;forthereprovedtohavebeenaprioracquaintancebetweenhimandMrs。Younge,inwhosecharacterweweremostunhappilydeceived;andbyherconnivanceandaid,hesofarrecommendedhimselftoGeorgiana,whoseaffectionateheartretainedastrongimpressionofhiskindnesstoherasachild,thatshewaspersuadedtobelieveherselfinlove,andtoconsenttoanelopement。Shewasthenbutfifteen,whichmustbeherexcuse;andafterstatingherimprudence,Iamhappytoadd,thatIowedtheknowledgeofittoherself。Ijoinedthemunexpectedlyadayortwobeforetheintendedelopement,andthenGeorgiana,unabletosupporttheideaofgrievingandoffendingabrotherwhomshealmostlookeduptoasafather,acknowledgedthewholetome。YoumayimaginewhatIfeltandhowIacted。Regardformysisterscreditandfeelingspreventedanypublicexposure;butIwrotetoMr。Wickham,wholefttheplaceimmediately,andMrs。Youngewasofcourseremovedfromhercharge。Mr。Wickhamschiefobjectwasunquestionablymysistersfortune,whichisthirtythousandpounds;butIcannothelpsupposingthatthehopeofrevenginghimselfonmewasastronginducement。Hisrevengewouldhavebeencompleteindeed。

“This,madam,isafaithfulnarrativeofeveryeventinwhichwehavebeenconcernedtogether;andifyoudonotabsolutelyrejectitasfalse,youwill,Ihope,acquitmehenceforthofcrueltytowardsMr。Wickham。Iknownotinwhatmanner,underwhatformoffalsehoodhehadimposedonyou;buthissuccessisnotperhapstobewonderedat。Ignorantasyoupreviouslywereofeverythingconcerningeither,detectioncouldnotbeinyourpower,andsuspicioncertainlynotinyourinclination。

“Youmaypossiblywonderwhyallthiswasnottoldyoulastnight;butIwasnotthenmasterenoughofmyselftoknowwhatcouldoroughttoberevealed。Forthetruthofeverythinghererelated,IcanappealmoreparticularlytothetestimonyofColonelFitzwilliam,who,fromournearrelationshipandconstantintimacy,and,stillmore,asoneoftheexecutorsofmyfatherswill,hasbeenunavoidablyacquaintedwitheveryparticularofthesetransactions。Ifyourabhorrenceofmeshouldmakemyassertionsvalueless,youcannotbepreventedbythesamecausefromconfidinginmycousin;andthattheremaybethepossibilityofconsultinghim,Ishallendeavourtofindsomeopportunityofputtingthisletterinyourhandsinthecourseofthemorning。Iwillonlyadd,Godblessyou。

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