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Insteadofreceivinganysuchletterofexcusefromhisfriend,asElizabethhalfexpectedMr。Bingleytodo,hewasabletobringDarcywithhimtoLongbournbeforemanydayshadpassedafterLadyCatherinesvisit。Thegentlemenarrivedearly;and,beforeMrs。Bennethadtimetotellhimoftheirhavingseenhisaunt,ofwhichherdaughtersatinmomentarydread,Bingley,whowantedtobealonewithJane,proposedtheirallwalkingout。Itwasagreedto。Mrs。Bennetwasnotinthehabitofwalking;Marycouldneversparetime;buttheremainingfivesetofftogether。BingleyandJane,however,soonallowedtheotherstooutstripthem。Theylaggedbehind,whileElizabeth,Kitty,andDarcyweretoentertaineachother。Verylittlewassaidbyeither;Kittywastoomuchafraidofhimtotalk;Elizabethwassecretlyformingadesperateresolution;andperhapshemightbedoingthesame。
TheywalkedtowardstheLucases,becauseKittywishedtocalluponMaria;andasElizabethsawnooccasionformakingitageneralconcern,whenKittyleftthemshewentboldlyonwithhimalone。Nowwasthemomentforherresolutiontobeexecuted,and,whilehercouragewashigh,sheimmediatelysaid:“Mr。Darcy,Iamaveryselfishcreature;and,forthesakeofgivingrelieftomyownfeelings,carenothowmuchImaybewoundingyours。Icannolongerhelpthankingyouforyourunexampledkindnesstomypoorsister。EversinceIhaveknownit,IhavebeenmostanxioustoacknowledgetoyouhowgratefullyIfeelit。Wereitknowntotherestofmyfamily,Ishouldnothavemerelymyowngratitudetoexpress。”
“Iamsorry,exceedinglysorry,”repliedDarcy,inatoneofsurpriseandemotion,“thatyouhaveeverbeeninformedofwhatmay,inamistakenlight,havegivenyouuneasiness。IdidnotthinkMrs。Gardinerwassolittletobetrusted。”
“Youmustnotblamemyaunt。Lydiasthoughtlessnessfirstbetrayedtomethatyouhadbeenconcernedinthematter;and,ofcourse,IcouldnotresttillIknewtheparticulars。Letmethankyouagainandagain,inthenameofallmyfamily,forthatgenerouscompassionwhichinducedyoutotakesomuchtrouble,andbearsomanymortifications,forthesakeofdiscoveringthem。”
“Ifyouwillthankme,”hereplied,“letitbeforyourselfalone。Thatthewishofgivinghappinesstoyoumightaddforcetotheotherinducementswhichledmeon,Ishallnotattempttodeny。Butyourfamilyowemenothing。MuchasIrespectthem,IbelieveIthoughtonlyofyou。”
Elizabethwastoomuchembarrassedtosayaword。Afterashortpause,hercompanionadded,“Youaretoogeneroustotriflewithme。IfyourfeelingsarestillwhattheywerelastApril,tellmesoatonce。Myaffectionsandwishesareunchanged,butonewordfromyouwillsilencemeonthissubjectforever。”
Elizabeth,feelingallthemorethancommonawkwardnessandanxietyofhissituation,nowforcedherselftospeak;andimmediately,thoughnotveryfluently,gavehimtounderstandthathersentimentshadundergonesomaterialachange,sincetheperiodtowhichhealluded,astomakeherreceivewithgratitudeandpleasurehispresentassurances。Thehappinesswhichthisreplyproduced,wassuchashehadprobablyneverfeltbefore;andheexpressedhimselfontheoccasionassensiblyandaswarmlyasamanviolentlyinlovecanbesupposedtodo。HadElizabethbeenabletoencounterhiseye,shemighthaveseenhowwelltheexpressionofheartfeltdelight,diffusedoverhisface,becamehim;but,thoughshecouldnotlook,shecouldlisten,andhetoldheroffeelings,which,inprovingofwhatimportanceshewastohim,madehisaffectioneverymomentmorevaluable。
Theywalkedon,withoutknowinginwhatdirection。Therewastoomuchtobethought,andfelt,andsaid,forattentiontoanyotherobjects。Shesoonlearntthattheywereindebtedfortheirpresentgoodunderstandingtotheeffortsofhisaunt,whodidcallonhiminherreturnthroughLondon,andthererelateherjourneytoLongbourn,itsmotive,andthesubstanceofherconversationwithElizabeth;dwellingemphaticallyoneveryexpressionofthelatterwhich,inherladyshipsapprehension,peculiarlydenotedherperversenessandassurance;inthebeliefthatsucharelationmustassistherendeavourstoobtainthatpromisefromhernephewwhichshehadrefusedtogive。But,unluckilyforherladyship,itseffecthadbeenexactlycontrariwise。
“Ittaughtmetohope,”saidhe,“asIhadscarcelyeverallowedmyselftohopebefore。Iknewenoughofyourdispositiontobecertainthat,hadyoubeenabsolutely,irrevocablydecidedagainstme,youwouldhaveacknowledgedittoLadyCatherine,franklyandopenly。”
Elizabethcolouredandlaughedasshereplied,“Yes,youknowenoughofmyfranknesstobelievemecapableofthat。Afterabusingyousoabominablytoyourface,Icouldhavenoscrupleinabusingyoutoallyourrelations。”
“Whatdidyousayofme,thatIdidnotdeserve?For,thoughyouraccusationswereill-founded,formedonmistakenpremises,mybehaviourtoyouatthetimehadmeritedtheseverestreproof。Itwasunpardonable。Icannotthinkofitwithoutabhorrence。”
“Wewillnotquarrelforthegreatershareofblameannexedtothatevening,”saidElizabeth。“Theconductofneither,ifstrictlyexamined,willbeirreproachable;butsincethen,wehaveboth,Ihope,improvedincivility。”
“Icannotbesoeasilyreconciledtomyself。TherecollectionofwhatIthensaid,ofmyconduct,mymanners,myexpressionsduringthewholeofit,isnow,andhasbeenmanymonths,inexpressiblypainfultome。Yourreproof,sowellapplied,Ishallneverforget:hadyoubehavedinamoregentlemanlikemanner。Thosewereyourwords。Youknownot,youcanscarcelyconceive,howtheyhavetorturedme;—thoughitwassometime,Iconfess,beforeIwasreasonableenoughtoallowtheirjustice。”
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